I don’t know how else to say it: It’s my fault.

We are experiencing an unusually warm winter; thousands of high temperature records are melting away like the scant snow falls that we have had this winter. Learned climatologists and other atmospheric and environmental scientists are saying that it’s due to climate change and global warming. There is, however, a more prosaic reason — and it is my fault.

Millions of children will be denied the chance to sled down hills, build snowmen and snow castles, and throw snowballs at each other. Young urban professionals will not be able to go skiing on the weekends and nosh during intimate après ski gatherings. Poets and lovers will not be able to take soulful walks in the driving snow with ice crystals stinging their faces. There is no excuse for hot mulled wine; you would rather have a nice cool drink. Why? It’s my fault.

In my over sixty-seven years, I have lived most of the time in the Northeast, Mid-Atlantic and Rocky Mountain regions of America. I have suffered through blistering winters and even a six foot high snowfall in Minneapolis (over three days) that forced me to practically tunnel to my car. Even when I briefly lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, it snowed that year. For four years, I lived in South Africa, high on the plateau where temperatures were always warm and the sky is sunny. You guessed it; a rare snowfall while I was there. Through it all, I soldiered on with snow shovel in hand, bravely flirting with a coronary to dig a path to the street. But I did something this year that was terrible.

You see, I just moved to Michigan. I was told by the older residents that annual snowfall would be daunting and I did something that I had never, ever, done before. I went out and bought a snow blower. Yes, I actually bought a two-stage snow blower to help me through the pending winter. A brand new, never been used snow blower. The offending machine (above photo) has never blown one flake of snow and sits in my garage, gathering dust, and providing a home for Charlotte to build her web and raise her family. So now you see why it is my fault. I bought a snow blower; it will never snow again. I’m sorry.