Breaking News —
Historical Context for America, a Super Pac formed to further historical context in future politicians has just released a video tape of Barack Obama that clearly indicates his commitment to social redistribution. In this tape taken in 1961, Barack can be heard speaking his first words which shocked those hearing them for the first time in fifty-one years.
Unlike American babies, the young Barack is seen ignoring traditionally expected words like “Mama” or “Dada.” He instead says very clearly “Gaga” which has been interpreted by linguistic experts hired by the Historical Context for America to mean “Gangsta” alluding to an early devotion to wealth redistribution at any cost and by any means whatsoever.
Miles Cavendish, IV, chairman of Historical Context for America issued a statement that he never in his life encountered such a clear statement of un-American behavior in one so young. “I am shocked, I tell you, Shocked,” stated an obviously shaken Cavendish as he reached for his smelling salts.
The Romney campaign issued an immediate tweet demanding that President Obama withdraw “Gaga” and renounce his preference for Gangsta Rap. The campaign went on further to say that the sanctity of the nuclear family demands that Obama go back in time and change his first words to a more American “Mama” or “Dada.” Governor Romney himself said that retrospectively changing something is not all that hard to do.
Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan said that he wasn’t surprised as his people have uncovered a treasure trove of Obama saying un-American things. “All that you have to have is a good tape machine and you can find lots of catch phrases that this person has said,” said the boyishly charming Ryan.